been a long time....I shouldn’t have left you

Repost: Aug 18, 2007

 

Current mood:contemplative

I should not categorize this blog....
It's late...I sit here in my new home...thankful.
And yet...shameful....
I struggle.
I need help...I need my sistren and my brethren...I step away from what is real and what is my right path. My sistren though....she tries to keep pulling me in and each time I am around her..I feel that...this life is right for me and yet ....
so much resistance....so much nostalgia for another way.
but when it feels so right....it is right and I know deep down in my womb that...she leads me the right way and in a luvin way....not extinguish my soul or fire but to cultivate it.
I feel honored that she takes the time to shine on me and I give thanks to Jah all the time for her. I give thanks to Jah.
I'm not worthy. I give thanks.
It much stop now and I must trod on and stand up...I know yall read my words out there....
but do you really understand the struggle within...
i was not raised this way and my family...lol
My family ...they think I'm crazy yo....
Crazy.
I give thanks.
hear my cry, Jah.
I'm not worthy. I give thanks.
I am not trying hard enough. I'm not worthy.
I give thanks.